


This Strange World

by Tabithian



Category: Batman (Comics), DCU, DCU - Comicverse, Red Robin (Comics), Teen Titans (Comics)
Genre: Animal Transformation, Crack, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-28
Updated: 2013-04-28
Packaged: 2017-12-09 18:48:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,140
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/776799
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tabithian/pseuds/Tabithian
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's been a while since Tim's been able to work with the Titans. It's been even longer since he's helped put a stop to an army of evil giant robots on a city-wide rampage.</p>
            </blockquote>





	This Strange World

**Author's Note:**

> Written for a prompt from an Anon on Tumblr.

It's been a while since Tim's been able to work with the Titans. It's been even longer since he's helped put a stop to an army of evil giant robots on a city-wide rampage.

“We need to do this more often,” Kon says, beating one of the giant robots to pieces using one of its own arms. “It's nice to get back to the basics every now and then.”

Secretly, Tim agrees. He's careful not to give voice to it, however, because _Titans_.

“Oh, hey, your thingie's blinking.”

Tim bites his tongue to keep from telling Kon for the _nth_ time that the “thingie” is a prototype for a new communicator, and ducks into a safe spot to answer it. Bart runs up to help Kon keep an eye out for rampaging robots. Both of them utterly fail at trying to look like they're not eavesdropping.

Tim scowls at them, but they're striking heroic poses - _now is not the time_ \- and flicks the communicator open. His eyes narrow when the headshot of Jason in his Red Hood suit flashes up on the screen. 

“Hood?”

There's a burst of static, and then the still photo is replaced with live video.

Jason's helmet is scratched and dented and what little of him Tim can see on the screen doesn't look to be faring much better.

Tim can hear sirens in the background, fire engines and police cars. Ambulances. There's faint yelling and the sky behind Jason has a strange cast to it, like something fairly large is on fire and lighting up Gotham's nigh sky better than the Bat Signal. 

“Hey,” Jason says, like this is a social call. “What do you know about red pandas?”

“They're related to skunks and weasels!” Bart pipes up, forgetting that he's not supposed to be listening in on the conversation. 

“Bart!"

“Really?” Jason asks, feigning interest. “That's fucking great, how about you get back to Gotham and take this little bastard off my hands?”

Jason turns the communicator away from him to focus the camera on a bedraggled looking red panda crouched on the edge of a roof. There's nothing about it to indicate it's anything but a normal red panda, reddish-brown fur with the usual markings. The way it waddles towards Jason and the communicator he's holding are typical for what Tim's seen of them, _but_.

But then it grabs the edges of the communicator in its paws and tilts its head down to look into the camera, looking decidedly sheepish.

“Wait until you see B,” Jason says, wrestling the communicator back from Dick. 

I'll be back as soon as I can,” Tim says, ignoring Kon and Bart exchanging looks with one another in confusion.

“Make it snappy,” Jason says. “I hear the city zoo would love to have one of these guys.”

“ _Hood_.”

Jason laughs and cuts his end of the call, the screen going black. Tim stares at it for a long moment, not quite sure how to feel about anything just then. 

He can hear Cassie's war cry rising to meet Kory's, and the sound of crunching metal. The rest of the Titans rallying for one last push against the robots, and _yet_. 

All he can think about is Gotham and Jason and the smirk Tim could hear in his voice. The plump little red panda that had looked at him with Dick's eyes. 

Kon pulls him into a sideways hug, arm around his shoulders as he tugs him back towards the rampaging robots, Bart on his other side.

“Heh,” Kon says. “And to think you were worried they'd get in trouble.” 

********

There's an Asian black bear sitting in front of the Batcave's computer.

“Apparently the guy had a theme planned,” Jason says, when he sees what Tim's looking at. 

“Of course he did,” Tim says. 

Most of them do.

Alfred is upstairs muttering to himself about the stubbornness of certain people as he puts together a meal that will appeal to Bruce and Dick in their new forms. 

“Check this out,” Jason says, and holds up his phone with a picture of the bear from the front.

“Why am I not surprised?” Tim asks, because of course the white spot on the bear's chest would be shaped like a bat. _Of course it would._

Bruce grunts at them, pointedly not looking up at them. He's staring hard at the computer screens, front paws resting on the console even though he doesn't have the manual dexterity to use the computer.

Jason gets this _look_ on his face, and Tim knows it's going to be bad.

“Don't mind him,” Jason says, pitching his voice to carry. “He's been a real _bear_ about all of this.”

Tim groans, Bruce's ears flatten, and there's a high twittering noise coming from deeper in the cave.

Jason smirks at Tim, eyes flicking to the shadows surrounding the trophies.

“Really?” 

Jason shrugs, and walks over to either continue annoying Bruce or help him, it's a toss-up either way.

Tim sighs, moving towards the T-Rex, and goes still when that twittering noise comes again, closer. Up high, because _Dick_ , and when he looks up he sees a pair of eyes looking down at him.

“Hey,” Tim says, wondering if maybe they've gotten a bit jaded when it comes to situations like this. “Have fun while I was gone?”

There's a quiet huff – amusement? - and then scrambling noises as Dick makes his way down from whatever perch he'd found for himself. Tim steps back to give him room, and can't help but stare when Dick sits up on his haunches and looks up at him. 

“I'd like to say only you,” Tim says, and glances over to where Bruce is growling at Jason over something. “But, well.”

Dick drops down on all fours, waddling towards him to tug on the hem of his jeans with his teeth.

“Lazy,” Tim says, but it's quiet, fond, and he bends to pick Dick up.

He's a little bigger than a house cat now, bushy tail hanging over Tim's arm when he rolls onto his back, mouth open in a grin.

“Jerk,” Tim says, but he's careful with Dick when he walks back over to see what Jason and Bruce are doing.

Arguing, it would seem. Bruce growling and glaring at Jason. Jason smirking and amused and not at all intimidated by Bruce, even when he's a bear.

“Zatanna says everything's fine, all we can do now is wait for the spell to wear off," Jason says, looking over at them.

Bruce huffs, turning his head toward the computer.

“No,” Jason says, reaching out to poke the side of Bruce's head. “The last thing this city needs is a crime-fighting bear, okay? Take a fucking load off for once.”

Bruce growls, halfhearted warning as he swings his head back around at Jason, lips peeled back over his teeth. 

“Shut it,” Jason says. 

More grumbling from Bruce before he subsides, head cocked at Tim and Dick.

“Bruce thinks you should take Dick home with you,” Jason says, and shrugs at Tim's questioning look. “Asshole's been driving everyone nuts.”

Dick ignores Jason and looks up at Tim with a hopeful look on his little furry face. 

“I don't think our building allows pets,” Tim says.

He's ninety-nine percent sure about that.

Jason sighs, like maybe Tim's being particularly difficult, and then smirks as something occurs to him. “Technically he belongs to you,” Jason says, looking all too pleased with himself. "Seriously, get him out of here before I make good on my threat."

_Bruce's ears twitch, but he doesn't growl or grumble, which means he knows as well as Tim does that it's an empty threat on Jason's part._

Tim looks at Bruce, who just _looks back_ , and sighs.

He knows the others must have talked about this, what they were going to do with Bruce and Dick until the spell wore off. Barbara would have been part of the conversation, if only to make sure Steph and the others would know they'd be taking over Bruce and Dick's usual patrol routes for the foreseeable future.

“Yeah, yeah, I know,” Jason says. “We're all assholes.”

Dick makes a sound like a whine, low and unhappy and Tim.

He wants to take Dick home, but there are unknown variables when it comes to things like this. To _magic_. 

The caches he has scattered across Gotham aren't as fully equipped as the Batcave, is and he doesn't like the prospect of Dick being so far away from it.

Dick paws at his arm, and Tim really kind of hates that his puppy-dog eyes are even more effective now.

********

Every once in a while Tim is reminded - forcibly - that the life he's chosen isn't exactly what could be termed normal. Odd, maybe. Strange? Closer. Bizarre? _Yes_.

It must be, if finding out that Bruce and Dick were turned into animals due to a magic spell isn't cause for alarm. Concern, definitely, but not the kind of fear and worry that someone who isn't in their line of work might experience. And for all that this isn't what Tim's come to think of as normal for them, not much has changed.

Dick still climbs all over Tim for attention, paws instead of hands poking him awake when Dick's hungry and in a mood. He still chatters at Tim over breakfast, stealing bits of food off Tim's plate and replacing them with more than he took like he thinks Tim won't notice.

He still ambushes Tim for cuddles when he thinks Tim's working too hard, even though he knows how Tim feels about _that_.

Dick will set himself up in position on top of the fridge instead of in that little nook by the kitchen doorway when Tim goes in search of coffee, but it's still as effective when he drops down on Tim from above. Dick He still wraps himself around Tim on the couch when Tim's working on his laptop or puts a movie on to play.

He'll seek Tim out when he can't sleep and Tim's working on something in the living room, lights turned down low to keep from disturbing Dick.

“Hey,” Tim says, smiling as Dick climbs up onto the couch next to him. “Couldn't sleep?”

Dick doesn't answer, too busy making his way into Tim's lap to see what he's working on, the top of his head butting Tim's chin.

“Dick - “

Dick twists around and scrambles off Tim's lap and up onto the his shoulders, letting out a contented little sigh as he curls up close. Several minutes later his breathing evens out.

Tim shakes his head and finishes writing up his report. He hesitates as he's about to turn his laptop off, turning his head slightly to look at Dick. 

He knows Dick's been restless in his new form, and while the apartment is large enough for him to run around in, it's not enough, _but_. 

********

“You're kind of a freak,” Jason says, _amused_. “But I guess it comes with the territory.”

Dick is investigating the small gymnastic set Tim ordered online. Toddler sized, and still a little too big for Dick in his current form. Safer for him, though, than setting him loose on the full-sized set in the Batcave.

“Shut up,” Tim says, smiling a little. “You saw his face when he saw this.”

Worth it, even if Tim's had to rearrange the living room to set the gymnastic set up, skin scraped off his knuckles from the harder to reach spots that held bolts that needed to be tightened. The instructions are in the trash, useless enough to be misleading and completely frustrating. He was able to put it together without Dick knowing by Bribing Jason to take Dick to the weekly checkup he and Bruce have to go to. A routine measure to make sure they aren't suffering adverse effects from the spell beyond the obvious.

Jason's recording this, of course, because Barbara found out what Tim was up to with the gym set. Tim's smart enough to know not to cross her if he can help it. Also, because Dick as a red panda is – and Tim is in agreement with Barbara and Steph on this – ridiculously adorable.

As if on cue, Dick makes a triumphant noise. [There's a look of utter delight on his face as he manages to pull himself up on the rings, little paws gripping tight.](http://4gifs.tumblr.com/post/48752330661/red-panda-pull-ups)

********

“I'm going to kill him,” Dick says when he sees the video a few weeks later when he's back to normal.

“I think Bruce is going to beat you to it,” Tim says. 

There's a video out there on the internet of [an Asian black bear learning how to fight](http://www.jokeroo.com/videos/funny/ninja-bear.html), and Bruce is far from happy.

Jason on the other hand? Still laughing like the lunatic he is.


End file.
